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Bertie's Christmas Eve
"Bertie's Christmas Eve" is a humorous short story by the British author Hector Hugh Munro who wrote under the pseudonym of Saki. The story was first collected in the 1919 anthology The Toys of Peace. The story concerns Luke Steffink's Christmas house party and his "ne'er-do-well" nephew Bertie. One of the guests recalls that, according to Russian folklore, animals are given the power of speech once a year at midnight on Christmas Eve.The idea that animals can speak at midnight on Christmas Eve exists in the folklore of many European countries. The belief is also referred to in the children's book The Tailor of Gloucester by Beatrix Potter. According to some folktales, anyone who overhears the talking animals on Christmas Eve is likely to hear something highly unpleasant about his or her future. To indulge the young people, Luke and his wife decide to take everyone down to the cow house at midnight. Bertie, who is not in a festive mood, declines to join the expedition. The party comes to regret allowing him to stay behind. Plot It is 11:30pm on Christmas Eve, and Luke Steffink and his wife are ready to retire for the night. Their children and the young house guests, however, have other ideas. Horace Bordenby, an eligible young man who has shown some interest towards the Steffinks' daughter Beryl, recalls that Russian peasants believe animals can talk once a year at midnight on Christmas Eve. Beryl finds the idea thrilling and suggests going down to the cow house to listen to their two cows talk. It being a fine night, and in the hope of encouraging the budding romance, her parents decide to lead an expedition to the farm building on their property. Everyone joins in the fun except Bertie, Luke's twenty-year-old "ne'er-do-well" nephew. Bertie, who is being shipped off to a distant country against his will shortly after Christmas, is not at all in a festive mood. Since the servants have all gone to bed, he is left in charge of the house. The party reaches the cow house a few minutes before midnight. Shortly, the door closes behind them and they hear the lock turn. Bertie's voice wishes them a good night. Luke looks out of the small barred window and yells in vain for his retreating nephew to open the door. An hour later, after the party has exhausted bad things to say about Bertie, a car filled with boisterous young people stops outside the garden gate. The noise brings Bertie out of the house. Ignoring the family and friends in the cow house, Bertie invites the strangers into the house. They proceed to drink up the champagne and have a wild party disturbing the whole neighborhood. Forty minutes later, the young people finally drive off leaving the thoroughly inebriated Bertie behind. Bertie finally lets everyone out of the cow house and tells them that there is no sense in waiting for the cows to talk because the Russian Christmas Eve is not due for another fortnight. Bertie says afterwards that he had the happiest Christmas Eve but a rotten Christmas. Footnotes External links *Text of "Bertie's Christmas Eve" on Wikisource. *Public domain audiobook of "Bertie's Christmas Eve" on YouTube. Category:Short Stories Category:Christmas stories Category:Comedy Category:Classic